26

– Spring 2011

Excerpts - The Last Days of British Honduras

Catherine Sullivan, Farhad Sharmini

Tags: Catherine Sullivan

1. Urban exteriors, day and night. Voice:

PRISONER

Imagine you're a wino. You're feeling a little drowsy, slumped on a stoop… Your head feels like a freeze-dried coconut. Your eyes like sore rectums. Up rolls the wino police. They drag you off to a skyscraper prison, disguised to look like a regular skyscraper…

And from your wino bin in the high-rise prison you see wino trucks up and down the streets, hauling in fresh supplies of winos. Just to keep the numbers up.



2. FIRST DANYON is giving a 'presentation' in a church basement.

DANYON

Lookit, rats on the inside fink on anyone they can, instead of working out their own problems… They sneak their food. They hold out on the others. They can't control their b-holes… They climb straight up, they crawl anywhere, everywhere.

They trade with each other - and only with each other - in baboon sperm… The federales -

FIRST RABBIT
(fed up)
Why you fussing?

DANYON
The narcos, actually, wear rat disguises. Rat faces. They fink on anyone they can -

FIRST RABBIT
Fussed! What, there a tarantula in the room here? Huh? 'Dee tarantula fall dhere?'

FIRST DANYON
They, they can't control their b-holes -

FIRST RABBIT
Man, you could be one of them…

DANYON
Okay, put your mind on this, mister! 'When dee cheeckon begin to cross dee road, do you say dee cheeckon has crossed dee road?' Tricks is… like life. You have to do them beginning to end.

SECOND RABBIT
(pushing DANYON